walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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