also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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