You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
