She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
