A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
