i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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