I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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