He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just want to make out with him forever
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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