She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
