when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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