worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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