I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
