just come out here and I will go home with you...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
