I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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