I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
this boner is exhausting
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
