So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
