Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
