so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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