i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
