My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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