Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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