someone threw a dead crab at me
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize