i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I could fuck to npr.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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