I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job