Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
