I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.