I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??