She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's