Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If I die, sorry about rent.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
