She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
