Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
