Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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