Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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