What a fucking waste of an outfit
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
