'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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