summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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