I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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