Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize