what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize