You did not just play the dead husband card again.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
