Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
