so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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