i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
