haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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