I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
