I think my vagina is haunted
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
