Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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