he was CRYING into my vagina
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
