Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
