Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
