Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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