I wish I could punch you in the face.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
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You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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