well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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