We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
