5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
