Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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