im gay
i know
yea but for you.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
