nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
birth control should be required to get into college
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The uberlube is also flammable
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
