The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
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Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
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But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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