Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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