he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
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