they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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