So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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