You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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