Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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