Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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